Thursday, May 26, 2011

Adopt A Pet Steam Powered Giraffe

Breaking News!

My robot giraffes need your help!

A month ago a strange occurrence took place in Walter Manor. A tiny little copper elephant, no bigger than a mouse, materialized on my writing desk and proceeded to try and make off with my turkey sandwich. Now its fruitless efforts were in vain, but I fear my arch nemesis Becile is planning something dastardly!

Sure enough, pinned to the pint-sized pachyderm was a note from he:

Dear Peter,

Our war of the colossi is imminent. I have perfected a reality-transversing teleportation method to send my advanced green-matter running AI automatons anywhere I'd like.

Unfortunately I can't send anything bigger than this, so you will need to retaliate with something of equal or lesser size. No cheating, that's not fair.

Expect more where this one came from! I will give you a few months to arm yourself, and then our fated battle will commence!

I. M. Becile

P. S. I hate you.

Now I couldn't believe the name was true! I always thought I. M. Becile was dead! If he still lives, he must be at least one-hundred years old! And does his grandson Buster Becile have anything to do with this? We have much to learn, and no time to waste wondering why any parent would name their child Buster.

I quickly flushed the Becile elephant down the toilet and set to work on constructing my own army of miniature African animals.

But it seems I have overloaded their programming in the upload phase and now the whole batch is completely stupid. A far cry from the intelligent war machines I need them to be.

I need your assistance to train these robot giraffes. I'm looking for Cavalcadians who will take good care of them! You must feed them, play with them, make sure they don't watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and earn their loyalty for the coming battle!

The Cavalcadium user interface bar will let you interact with your very own steam powered giraffe while you frequent the forums.

You can customize their finish, and if you do a good job at taking care of them, I will allow you access to my Wonderful Hat Room where you will find various hats and adornments to dress your giraffe with.

The time is now friends! Adopt a giraffe and let us prepare!


P. A. Walter VI



  2. How in the world would I acquire one of these? I would be glad to help, but I can't seem to find the entrance to this battle dimension...