Oh my heavens what a busy last couple of months! That's right, I have more than one heaven.
But finally I have a moment to relax in my third study on the right across the hall from the Room of Cakes and Land Mines Disguised as Cakes. Sipping my Ginger Tea, with a bag of Funyuns, and listening to Pandora. No, not the customizable online radio station website. Pandora. The planet with the blue cat people. I have a feed that goes directly there so I can listen to James Cameron cackling maniacally as he lets the gold coins fountain down from his claws.
Ah, yes. Sometimes its all I can do to go to sleep at night.
For avid blog followers, you may be quaking in anticipation about what happened with my time machine project. Well, I finished said time machine much to the dismay of an entire audience gathered for our Clockwork Vaudeville Robut Fun Acrobatic Spectacular, also called Clockwork Vaudeville or CVRFAS for short.
You see folks. I flubbed.
Oh how sure I was my invention wouldn't cause mayhem. I was so sure mind you, we planned to close the automatonic circus show with a demonstration by having Attila the Hun ride a T-Rex through the aisles.
But we never made it that far, instead we got a little sidetracked after the opening song...and well, to make a long story short the Jon ran out of his Crystal Soda fuel source and my robuts used the time machine to find more of it.
In the end the whole theatre was tragically sent back in time. Some of our performers devolved into ape-like people, or were eaten by cyborgs, and a few audience members became spliced with each other. But it could have been worse.
Now we did manage to get...almost...everyone back to the right time, but I hear the Birch Theatre is still experiencing the occasional Julius Ceaser assassination while they're trying to put on children's plays.
As an honorable man I will admit when I have made a mistake.
There. I did it. I forgive myself. Now I can move on with my life.
I've been wracking my brain about what went wrong for weeks...and then it hit me.
A chandelier. Fell and hit me right on the head. I instantly knew the problem.
The time machine was built out of an old armoire I found at that estate sale! Of course!
I should have known something was wrong with that mansion when I took this photo!
The entire place is built of oak! Including the furniture! That must be the problem! I need to build my time machine out of a haunted armoire made of Brazilian Cherry or maybe an Australian Cypress.
Back to the drawing board I'm afraid.
In other news, folks, if you have followed our fan-website http://www.thecavalcadium.com/, you will notice the Elite group of Blue Matter protectors known as the Cavalcadians have been trying to get my steam powered robuts to perform at Dragon*Con. It's a science fiction and fantasy convention, and while everyone assures me it has nothing to do with our logo looking like a dragon-
-they say the convention is nice and big and would be perfect to showcase Steam Powered Giraffe. So hop to it I say! Lets make sure these Dragons know that my metal men will perform beautifully for them as they lay on their gold treasure hordes. Maybe they'll even invite James Cameron! Boy! Could you imagine what sort of movie he'd make with the robuts if he saw them?
Yes for sure! A sequel to The Abyss!
Here is the website Dragon*Con for those interested in spreading the robut name!
http://www.dragoncon.org/.Until next we meet!
Your Pal,
Peter
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